Connect with your significant other by cooking a romantic meal together
Sex therapist and talk-show host Dr. Ruth recently passed away, and Dinner Table Doctor and I were cooking a romantic meal while reminiscing about how we once saw her in real life. She was walking down the street in Washington DC and looked just as tiny and cute as you would imagine. We were tickled to see her; she was quite famous when we were young, because she talked so frankly about sex. Remembering her groundbreaking show while cooking a special meal together on a particularly romantic evening naturally brought the conversation to the topic of sex and sexuality. In many parts of America, sex is still a taboo topic, even after all these years of Dr. Ruth’s hard work. It seems we are going backwards with some school boards wanting to eliminate or restrict sex education. DTD and I also discussed the surprising news that after the release of the Barbie movie, there was a significant increase in searches for gynecologists, specifically the definition of a gynecologist. Clearly more people like Dr. Ruth are needed! We have to be able to talk about sex and sexuality if we want to be well informed.
My last post was about sexually transmitted infections, and DTD and I were startled at the number of people who commented on how embarrassing this topic is or how terrible it would seem to have to talk to a doctor about STI’s or just sex in general. Perhaps because of his career choice, we are so used to talking about anything from rashes to stomach issues to poop, that sex is just one more normal topic of conversation. You should take Dr. Ruth’s sage advice and know that it is OK to talk about sex and absolutely normal to see your doctor if you have any concerns about sex, your body, your sexuality, and your mental well-being. You don’t have to wait for an appointment with a gynecologist (a physician who specializes in the health maintenance of women and reproductive organs) or a urologist (a physician who specializes in issues with the urinary system). If there are any problems of this nature, never be too shy to talk to your primary care doctor. Physicians are used to hearing any and everything about the body, and that includes issues with sex, plus they know if you need to meet with a specialist.
DTD admits that some patients are initially very shy or hesitant when wanting to bring up this topic, but they need not fret, since talking about sex with your doctor is just one of many aspects of maintaining your overall health and well-being. If you’re a little anxious about discussing issues of a sexual nature with your doctor, here are some steps to guide you through the process:
Choose the Right Doctor:
It’s crucial to have a doctor you feel comfortable with and trust. This will make discussing sensitive topics like sex much easier. DTD has an excellent bedside manner and is a great listener. Sadly, he is not accepting new patients, but do your homework and find someone who you can speak with openly and frankly. Check out my post You Need and Deserve a Good Doctor.
Schedule a Specific Appointment:
If you have concerns about your sexual health, it’s a good idea to schedule a dedicated appointment to discuss them. Don’t try to add your questions to a list of other health issues. A dedicated appointment ensures you have ample time to address the matter without feeling rushed. No doctor wants to walk into an exam room expecting to talk about high blood pressure or diabetes and then be blindsided at the end of the appointment with “by the way, I have some unusual warts on my penis…” Give yourself a break and the physician the courtesy of making an appointment for the actual issues you want to discuss. If it’s a lot of issues, schedule a longer appointment slot, so you are not rushed. If you’re embarrassed to say the exact concern when you make the appointment, just say something like “it’s a personal issue.” This does not give the doctor information to prepare, but at least he might be mentally ready for any topic. The more specific you can be when you make the appointment, the better your time and the doctor’s will be spent.
Use Clear and Specific Language:
When discussing your concerns during the appointment, also remember to be as specific as possible. This helps your doctor understand your situation better and provide relevant advice. Don’t shy away from using medical or anatomical terms if you’re comfortable with them. If you’re too shy to use medical terms like penis and vagina, feel free to use the terms you are comfortable with. Someone in my extended family was taught to use the word “sunshine” for her vagina. If you’re having problems with your sunshine, let your doctor know all about it, but make sure she knows exactly what you’re referring to so there’s no confusion. Sometimes it helps to make a list of your concerns before the appointment.
Be Open and Honest:
Again, your doctor is a medical professional who has heard it all before. Be honest and open about your sexual history, concerns, and any symptoms you might be experiencing. Providing accurate information helps your doctor make an informed diagnosis and recommend appropriate treatment.
Ask Questions:
Don’t hesitate to ask any questions. Your doctor is there to provide information and guidance. If you’re unsure about something, asking for clarification can help alleviate any anxieties you might have. I like to sum up my understanding of an appointment before I walk out the door. “So you’re telling me I should schedule bloodwork and a follow-up appointment in one month? Correct?” This way, if you are misunderstanding something, the doctor will set you straight. I also like to write it all down, because I have a tendency to forget, and online medical charts are not always accurate.
Discuss Birth Control and Safe Sex:
Feel free to talk about contraception methods, safe sex practices, and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Your doctor can provide information on different birth control options, how to prevent STIs, and what to do if you suspect you’ve been exposed to an STI. Prompt treatment is critical for most STIs, so do not hesitate to visit your doctor if you are at all concerned about exposure.
Share Any Symptoms:
If you’re experiencing any sexual health-related symptoms, describe them in detail. This could include issues like pain, discomfort, changes in libido, erectile dysfunction, or any other concerns you might have. Again, this is where creating a detailed list before the appointment might be a good idea.
Discuss Reproductive Health:
If you’re trying to conceive or have concerns about fertility, discuss these with your doctor. She can provide guidance on optimizing your reproductive health.
Discuss Sexual Function:
If you’re experiencing difficulties with sexual function, such as erectile dysfunction or problems with arousal, it is perfectly normal to discuss these issues with your doctor. She can help determine potential causes and offer appropriate treatments or referrals.
Confidentiality:
Remember that doctor-patient confidentiality applies to discussions about sexual health as well. Your doctor is legally and ethically bound to keep your information confidential. As an adult, even if your spouse or children or parents see the same doctor, your visit will be confidential, unless you want the information shared for some reason. Your sunshine is your business!
Ask for Resources:
Your doctor can provide you with printed resources and websites that offer reliable information about sexual health topics. Be very careful with what you read when you do your own research. Not every website is offering accurate information, even when it seems legitimate. You can also feel free to ask for your doctor’s opinion on certain sources.
Follow Up:
Depending on the nature of your discussion, your doctor may recommend follow-up appointments or tests. It’s important to adhere to her recommendations for ongoing care.
Relax:
Remember, discussing sexual health is a normal and important part of your overall healthcare. A respectful and open conversation with your doctor can help you address any concerns and ensure that you’re taking care of your well-being. Everyone deserves a healthy sunshine or peeper!
A romantic dinner idea
Food is such an important part of connections with others. Sharing a meal is a bonding experience, whether it’s in the break room at work, in a school cafeteria, at a family gathering, or with one significant person. Preparing good food with fresh ingredients is an act of love. We show people how much we care about them by creating something delicious, and consuming this creation together is a special experience.
Couples cooking together is SEXY and sex is typically an important part of a relationship. All of my regular readers are well aware that Dinner Table Doctor and I love to cook together. We view the act of planning a meal, choosing the ingredients, selecting the perfect bottle of wine, cooking and finally consuming the fruits of our labor as a form of entertainment. The entire process brings us closer together. Although we try to make healthy meals on a regular basis, once in a while we treat ourselves and indulge in a feast for the senses. Planning and preparing the meal together and then enjoying all of the flavors is a wonderful way to connect with your partner on a very intimate level.
Red wine braised short ribs is an easy recipe for a day of lounging around together. This recipe is courtesy of platingsandpairings.com and we opted to use the slow cooker method provided in the article instead of the oven method. This gave us more time to relax and enjoy each other’s company while the house filled up with the delicious aromas of the ribs and wine. We added some rosemary garlic mashed potatoes and also tossed some asparagus with olive oil, salt, and pepper which we lightly roasted in our toaster oven. The perfect bottle of wine made this easy meal decadent and extravagant. Paired with a conversation about sex, it was just the beginning of a splendid night!
Sex is a fundamental aspect of human biology and psychology for many individuals. Sex can also play a significant role in emotional bonding, pleasure, and intimacy. It is absolutely acceptable to visit your primary care doctor to talk about any issues regarding sex. If you want an easy way to spice up your sex life, try cooking a meal with your significant other!
Dinner Table Doctor 