My Most Embarrassing Moment

A lesson in food poisoning while visiting San Francisco

I have shared with you my harrowing tale of constipation while traveling, my openness in discussing bodily functions in mixed company, and my struggles with leukemia. You know about my gallbladder troubles; you have seen a picture of my colon and a video of my ugly tongue. Readers are now dear, intimate friends. I feel so comfortable in our relationship, that I am going to share yet another extremely embarrassing moment – perhaps my worst: a public episode of vomiting.

Celebrating in San Francisco

Dinner Table Doctor and I recently planned a trip to San Francisco. We specifically wanted to travel with our adult son and his wonderful girlfriend to celebrate another Dinner Table Doctor, as our son recently graduated medical school and is now a psychiatry resident who also loves creating and consuming wonderful meals. We have already started peppering him with psychiatry-related questions at the dinner table, so I’m sure his wisdom will soon be featured in a post. This trip was meant to be a bonding opportunity and an adventure exploring one of our favorite cities while enjoying some exciting food and wine.

Starting the day with a food tour

We had several fun activities planned, and on this particular day we started off with a food tour of the Mission District, a hipster neighborhood with Latin roots and a wide variety of interesting eateries. The four of us appreciate good food and love trying new things, so it was a terrific morning. Our knowledgeable guide described the history of the area while we admired the colorful murals and sampled all kinds of delicious bites at various locations throughout the district. Our bellies were pleasantly full as we headed to our next activity.

Golden Gate Park and the Japanese Tea Garden

Golden Gate Park is a huge urban park and a major attraction for visitors to San Francisco with an estimated 24 million people visiting each year. On this particular day it was crowded with tourists. The Japanese Tea Garden is one gorgeous section of the park that requires an admission fee. We decided to spring for the cost as it was a beautiful, sunny day, and we planned to explore the ornate gardens, tranquil koi ponds, bridges, tea house and pagodas.

Panic ensues: the start of food poisoning

Not five minutes after we paid our admission and started taking photos, I began feeling a little funny. My tummy was bloated, which I initially thought was from all the eating during the food tour. Even after the long walk to get to the park, I was feeling more bloated and nauseous by the second. I was trying to act normal, take pictures and just keep moving, but I was rapidly decompensating. I decided to sit down on a cute bench by a picturesque koi pond in order to take some deep breaths and collect myself in the hopes of settling my stomach and maybe releasing a little of the pressure build up, if you get my drift. I told the group to move on, and I would catch up.

DTD checked on me periodically noting that I was getting paler by the second. The koi fish were particularly serene, but I was fighting a battle of epic proportions with the contents of my stomach. An older couple sat on my bench and smiled at me. I groaned and hung my head low between my knees with the realization that I was about to throw up. I didn’t want to harm the innocent, pretty fish or startle the older couple as well as the multitudes of people strolling through the peaceful paths, so I tried to valiantly struggle my way towards the tea house to find a bathroom. The area was packed with tourists, so I aborted the plan and attempted to lurch my way out of the gate of the Japanese Garden with DTD trailing behind me.

The battle is lost – vomiting in public

I stumbled out of the gate, staggered towards a tree and could no longer contain the contents of my stomach, which rose with such force I was almost thrown off my feet. I could hear a small child in the distance screaming “Ewwwww!” but I didn’t even care how many of the people visiting from all over the world witnessed my spectacle. The major quantity of food that I consumed from the tour was on full, graphic display. It was loud, messy, lengthy and distressing. In between retching, I begged DTD to get me back to our hotel as soon as possible. Unfortunately, it was a 25-minute Uber ride away.

The wonders of technology: Yay Waymo

The thought of throwing up in an Uber driver’s car was horrifying. Yes, I was now vomiting profusely in front of multiple bystanders, but at least I was outdoors. A car is the driver’s workspace and livelihood, so I would feel doubly terrible to sully it with the wide variety of food I consumed during my food tour. I could only imagine the driver’s reaction.

Between even more episodes of retching, I suggested DTD call a Waymo, one of the self-driving cars in San Francisco. We took a short ride in one earlier and enjoyed the novelty, and the thought of no driver was mildly comforting. DTD quickly ordered one and Googled “what happens if you vomit in a Waymo?” as we waited. The answer: a $50 fine, though I’m not sure if it would take the next rider to point out that someone vomited in the car or if it was based on the honors system. There are cameras in the car, so I knew the entire episode would be virtually witnessed by someone eventually. We felt it was well worth the potential price at this point. I don’t remember much of the ride back to the hotel. I had my eyes closed and the window down with my head reaching for a cooling breeze, no longer impressed by the driver-less car’s maneuvering through the winding, hilly city streets. I managed to not vomit in the car, and thirty minutes later I was in bed. The next morning, I felt totally normal. DTD diagnosed me with food poisoning.

Food poisoning from oat milk

DTD explained that food poisoning occurs when you consume food or drinks contaminated with harmful bacteria, viruses, or toxins. My first instinct was to blame the food tour, but all four of us ate the exact same things throughout the experience and I was the only one sick. DTD suspected it might have been the oat milk I had in my morning coffee. The sudden onset and quick recovery pointed to something recently digested, and that was really the only deviation from everything the rest of the group ate.

Food Poisoning Symptoms and Timeline:

The type of food poisoning matters

DTD explained that food poisoning comes in 2 distinct types:

• Bacteria in food may make a toxin and when you eat the food that toxin gets you sick. Think of mayonnaise on potato salad left out in the heat or rice left out on a heating element all day, or something like oat milk left out of the fridge for a few hours. This usually comes and goes relatively quickly. Symptoms appear within hours to a few days after eating contaminated food. Mine occurred about 5 hours after my morning coffee.
• Alternatively, the bacteria itself get in your body and causes an infection which may come on a few or several days later, after the infection has had time to set up shop, and usually lasts for an extended period of time. This type may last a few days or weeks or may even cause permanent damage or death, depending on the bacteria. Think food recalls such as the most recent wide-scale example in the U.S. when there was a listeria contamination in lunch meat which caused 10 deaths.

Common Symptoms of Food Poisoning:

• Nausea
• Vomiting
• Diarrhea (sometimes watery or bloody)
• Stomach cramps or pain
• Fever
• Headache
• Fatigue
• Muscle aches

If you or others who consumed the same food are feeling sick, it’s a strong indicator of food poisoning. Look back at what you ate in the last 24–72 hours. Think about whether the food seemed off (unusual smell, taste, texture) or was improperly stored (left out for too long or not refrigerated). In my case, the coffee place we visited that morning was old school, and the man at the counter looked confused when I asked for an alternative milk. DTD guessed that they don’t get a lot of requests at this place for alternatives to dairy milk. Maybe the oat milk was expired or left out of the refrigerator too long.

Check for Outbreaks

• If you’ve eaten at a restaurant or bought prepackaged food, check for any public foodborne illness outbreaks in your area. Local health departments or news outlets sometimes report on such events.

When to seek medical attention

• If symptoms are severe (e.g., bloody diarrhea, high fever, prolonged vomiting, or signs of dehydration), seek medical attention.
• If your symptoms last more than a few days, or if you experience severe dehydration, fainting, or an inability to keep fluids down, you should see a healthcare provider. I am so glad I had my very own health care provider with me and that I wasn’t sick in bed for a few days or weeks with a virus or bacterial infection! I was totally normal by the next morning and ready for our next adventure.

Take a trip to San Francisco!

We certainly bonded on this trip as a result of my trauma, plus we were able to sample lots of fantastic food and wine. Luckily food poisoning did not put too much of a damper on our vacation. The rest of our time in San Francisco was terrific, and my son’s girlfriend got some nice pictures of the Japanese Garden while DTD and I were heading back to the hotel in the Waymo. I highly recommend a visit to San Francisco. It is a safe, exciting, gem of a city! Here are some more pictures followed by the video I made in the Waymo during our first ride, before my bout with food poisoning.

Above is a picture of our son (DTD2), his girlfriend, DTD, and me; below is a video of our first ride in the Waymo, before my bout with food poisoning:

Related posts:

• Dealing with a Cancer Diagnosis: Lessons from Leukemia
• Diverticula and Homemade Corn Tortillas
• Bathroom Issues while Traveling: Constipation
• How to Avoid Traveler’s Diarrhea
• Potty Talk: Questions about poop during dinner
• Gall Bladder Pain: When to seek medical attention and what can happen if you ignore symptoms
• My Ugly Fissured Tongue