Beans, TSA, and another embarrassing moment in San Francisco
As you know from my post about my bout with food poisoning, Dinner Table Doctor and I took a journey to San Francisco a while ago. On the return trip, DTD had a little run-in with TSA, and I almost peed my pants as a result. I also recently wrote about controlling my bathroom habits while traveling, but I neglected to add that laughing hysterically can in fact cause a person to pee her pants, no matter how strong her core is. Our experience ended up being good for a laugh and a reminder of the goodness of beans. Plus, I’ve included a video showing you exactly how DTD makes his beloved beans!
The Leguminati: DTD’s coveted membership
Years ago, DTD joined Rancho Gordo bean club. This bean club is practically a cult. You are probably familiar with wine clubs or coffee clubs, and the bean club works much the same way, except instead of having some interesting bottles of wine delivered to your door, you get the unique pleasure of interesting bags of beans delivered to your door. Even though I am not exactly the bean lover my husband is, I do appreciate beans in general and particularly enjoy these heirloom beans. I never knew how MANY different kinds of beans existed, or how different they taste and the large variety of recipes one might use to prepare the beans. Nor did I realize I should have invested in Beano and probably Tums years ago, so that I could at least feel like I was making money while spending money.
A Bean Pilgrimage
The bean club has a long waiting list, but you can order a bag or two of beans from Rancho Gordo any time you want, along with a cookbook, spices, t-shirt, hat or other bean paraphernalia. I think DTD has all of it. The Rancho Gordo store is located not far from San Francisco, in Napa, California and DTD was like a teenager excited to meet an influencer as we made our pilgrimage there. Although it was a lovely store with some pretty household items, it was mostly beans. I found it to be slightly underwhelming in a not wholly unexpected way, but DTD was thrilled to see the multitudes of beans in their retail setting.


We did not purchase beans because we get regular deliveries from the club. Plus, as luck would have it, DTD hit the jackpot by scoring a whole bunch of FREE beans.
Free Beans!
As wine lovers in the Napa area are wont to do, I scheduled several wine tastings. At the very first tasting, DTD told the wine expert that we were really in Napa to visit Rancho Gordo for beans. He told her all about the bean club, waxed on about the importance of fiber and gave her advice on how to increase fiber in her diet. Her face lit up with secret understanding. She was very familiar with the bean store, and she asked DTD if he would like some “complimentary” beans left over from an event they did long ago with Rancho Gordo. Honestly, we were shocked she didn’t want them, but it was a pretty small operation, and the winery employees probably figured you can only do so much with beans. They did not have the scope of imagination that DTD has! He readily agreed to take all the beans she would be willing to part with, which ended up several pounds of dried beans.
As responsible adults, we were Ubering between wine tastings, which meant DTD carried a giant, heavy box of beans to each and every wine tasting, much like toting a massive treasure chest of jewels. He would climb out of each Uber with his bulky box and happily settle it between his feet while he gazed out among the vineyards and enjoyed his wine.


It would have made perfect sense to ship the box to Ohio, but then DTD reasoned the beans would not quite have been free technically. Instead, he tried to convince us to divide the beans among our four carry-ons. None of us had checked bags, and DTD did not want to pay extra for one. We reluctantly agreed to stash a few bean packs in our bags, but we made DTD packed the bulk of them, since this was his bright idea.
He had about 14 pounds of dried beans in his carry-on, and wouldn’t you know, he was flagged by TSA when the beans made their way through the x-ray machine. As we watched the perplexed security guy take a seemingly never-ending supply of beans out of DTD’s bag, my core muscles got a major workout while I tried not to pee my pants with uncontrollable giggling. I was sore for days. The TSA representative let the “crazy bean guy” through, and we went on our merry way, discussing potential bean recipes throughout our flight.
What’s so great about beans?
DTD and I love beans for several reasons:
- They taste great, especially when made using dried heirloom beans. Comparing Rancho Gordo heirloom beans to standard grocery-store beans is like comparing a home-grown garden-fresh tomato to a mid-winter grocery store tomato.
- Beans are versatile! When patients ask DTD how we can eat beans so often, he compares it to the same way people eat meat frequently. For example, you can build a meal around beans with different sauces or flavors much like building a meal around chicken. There are so many terrific recipes using beans as a main dish, a side, or just one of many fresh ingredients in a meal.
- They are good for the environment. They don’t need much water or land to grow. Beans are unique among food crops in that they do not need to be fertilized; in fact, beans are used in crop rotation to enrich the soil.
- Beans are a wonderful source of protein and can provide up to 15 grams of protein per cup, depending on the bean.
- Beans are full of fiber. Eating them regularly can help lower cholesterol and blood sugar levels and keep your bowels in tip top shape.
- They are dirt cheap. A bag of dried beans is a few dollars and will make a lot of beans to use in many different meals. Even the fancy Rancho Gordo heirloom beans are cheap when you consider how many meals they create. They have a long shelf life and freeze well before and after cooking too!
Even though I made fun of DTD relentlessly for stowing a year’s supply of beans in his carry-on, I was impressed with his brute strength and glad to partake in the bounty. Here is one of the many recipes we have enjoyed as a result of his luck and determination:

This is a variation on a Rancho Gordo recipe using beans and hominy, which is basically a fluffier and more nutritious version of corn. The original recipe called for Domingo Rojo beans, which we didn’t have on hand. We used black eyed peas instead, and it was still delicious. One of many great things about Rancho Gordo is that they offer a lot of easy recipes and often suggest a few different beans that might work for a particular recipe.
If you need some more inspiration to cook beans, another DTD favorite source for bean recipes is Illuminate-food.com. Danielle even makes cookies out of beans! I think she is DTD’s hero.
Here is a link to a video in which DTD shows you one of the many ways he prepares his beans. While canned beans work in a pinch, cooking dried beans, particularly Rancho Gordo heirloom beans, is on another level when it comes to taste. It is so easy and delicious and good for you! There are faster ways to make dried beans, but if you’re going to be home for several hours and want something easy to stick in the oven so the whole house can smell yummy, this method is terrific. Afterwards you have enough beans to make several recipes, and they also freeze well for future use. Let us know what you think!

related posts:
- Fiber Health Benefits: a favorite topic and delicious Moroccan recipe
- The Benefits of Fiber
- Why you Fart More as you Age and what you can do About that Gas
- How Serious are Polyps in the Colon?
- Diverticula and Homemade Corn Tortillas
- Gift Ideas for Health and Wellness
- Urinary Frequency
- My Most Embarrassing Moment
- Urinary Frequency
very funny story
LikeLiked by 1 person